Undiscussables Opinio Piece

The gap between how we behave in our private lives and in the workplace is not as big as you may think…

A study released in November 2012 highlighted the growth of on-line dating as an industry and how it has now become an integral part of our dating culture. The Guardian noted in its report:

“The Metaflake study estimates that today around 30% of new relationships arise from the internet, but also adds a hefty health warning for romantics. It estimates that 25% of those combing the web for a new partner, “particularly men”, are already in a relationship.”

This tells us that:

  • 75%, the majority of people using on-line dating services, are being honest about their relationship status.
  • 25% are being dishonest.
  • This last group represent a significant minority of people engaging in a pattern of behaviour that is probably dishonest, indicative of a relational style that prizes secrecy and self over transparency and partnership.

There is a wider question around how else such patterns of dishonesty and secrecy resonate more widely in e.g. society, business, politics etc., and the extent to which this is or is not a male trait – something for another post on another day…

But for now, the questions that come to my mind include:

  • How can you trust 25% of your workplace colleagues?
  • If you know someone is dishonest in their private life, what do you suppress or deny in yourself in order to work with them?
  • How might that pattern of dishonesty influence the organisations the 25% work in?
  • How are the strategies we use to challenge dishonesty in our various roles and contexts the same and different?